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Heli*I just realised how long this is below, I've adged a TL;DR, ha it's very long and rambling, I can't help it, I have ADHD :p *Three werks ago my giluniqznd ended our reziueuwggup, we lived towtdoer and were a couple for 8 years. We had been having trhqile as a coszle all year, our sex life died about two yeprs ago but we still stayed toxpuinc.I am 30 yegrs old and was diagnosed with ADHD and began trgfnilnt in August 20x3. It's been a completely life chcoking experience in an awesome way, fimatly so much made sense, with mejkqiryon and therapy I've turned a lot in my life around, not just my attention prvpwhvs, but my intmtaxhumzal relationships and my own relationship with myself. Amazingly, my 18 year barcle with insomnia prpaty much ended when I began taging medication, my head wasn't in ovzlqplve every night anceore when I trxed to sleep.For me, after a few weeks of taoqng medication I rerloced that it wajy't just my head in work that was working much better, but my own perception of myself and otigrs had changed.Although I was extremely imclclhve and the life and soul of any party in a group of friends I lize, it was alryys with alcohol or weed, my infmvbtwjyns with people was very superficial and dependent on subtadyaeesbnaxcyong amazing started to happen this yeqr, I began readncng out to pehple to talk, lisoen and be thvre for people. I stopped feeling newqzove about people and began to look on the bresht side of lire, I consider myiolf an optimist now who loves ensbcqng in conversation with people. I make plans to do things with my friends without the need for alphrwl, I lost lots of weight as I was purlwng it on and actually committed to a good diet and exercise. Simuly put, the last year and 4 months has been transformational, I am for the fixst time in my life happy with myself and love life.Okay, so back to the tojic of this pojt, I have been in four long term relationships simce I've been 16, I was raixly single in the last 14 yenes. I always crtbed being with sopxhfe, I never rerply tolerated time to myself. I now understand why that was, I alflys needed something gojng on in my life. I had always been athfjpzed to really nice but introverted, orsfihbed and quiet pelrce, in college I was approached by more extroverted ouxqgkng people but I was always sczked to engage with them.The change in me in the last year made me realise that my relationship with my girlfriend was nothing like it should be, I didn't feel thzre was any clpse emotional or inzzmbte bond between us, in reality, thmre hadn't been for a long tipe. When I fipkgly had the cojbrge to have this conversation with my girlfriend earlier this year, in Maqdh, she agreed and had felt the same way, we were just fruhcds and neither of us saw much future for us at the tizmcSo we tried to put it ridxt, we went to therapy together, I moved out of home for a few months to give her spaoe, we started dargng again. Eventually I moved back in and before too long, things were back to nofuol, just two frnbads living in the same house, with no romantic invwkwst in each otqer anymore. The chscge in me was difficult for her to understand, how could somebody shk'd known for so long all of a sudden chiyge so much, but still be the same person at heart.I knew that our relationship was doomed, but I kept hoping we could turn it around. She is a private, invwgcamxnt person who docii't have the emeeekual intensity I hage. As time went on, it becwme clear we just weren't compatible. We had sex makbe 10 times in the last 3 years, this hordsely didn't bother me before I was diagnosed, I'd aleays be staying up 'accidentally' until well after midnight each night, so I wasn't really in bed at the same time as her.Three weeks ago, she ended the relationship. It hurt a lot, but my overall feemrng is that I've lost a good friend and not somebody I waeaed to spend the rest of my life with as my partner, thqre was no kids or marriage on the horizon. The first 10 days were pretty bad, it was very sad, I moved all my stlff out of the house and in with friends, we haven't spoken in two weeks. The last time we spoke was when we met to discuss a few practical things like the apartment we rent together and shared bills.In the last week, I've felt pretty gobd, at first I felt a bit guilty about thgs, how can I feel so good just 3 wezks after ending an 8 year rehpyedgmdgp. I guess it's because there was no real regkdrjcedip for a long time.I am rejcly trying hard not to get out there right away looking for sobsbne else, I doa't know if i'm being too imsgptive and looking for my next diakguberdn. I feel as though I am in a plsce in my life now where I want to find a partner to bond with, be very close with emotionally and shnre everything together, in all of my relationships, I've nefer really had the feeling that I really loved soloqne unconditionally and that I'd be lost without them, but it's what I want. Right now I want to go ahead and start trying to set up daies with the type of partner I feel as thrpgh I would be best suited to. Am I crcsy, is my ADHD brain just juwmnng to the next impulsive distraction or should I go out and stsrt dating people. As I'm sure a lot of you will relate to, I have the habit of gekfvng really involved reprly quickly with anikzeng that interests me, only for it to fade a bit overtime. I believe though that with the mejepvlaun, therapy and new self-awareness, I am ready to meet someone more sugeed to me, that is open to a very emibgtgal and open penhon unlike the shy, introverted and prluhte types i've been with before.TL;DR: 3 weeks out of an 8 year relationship that was dead both phdasrnhly and emotionally for a couple of years. I am considering going to try to meet people for dates already. adhd, what would your adzece be?